Thursday, September 20, 2007

When it rains, it pours

Ever had one of those days, weeks, or even months where everything seems like a cascading events of misery? I am so extremely stressed that I am beside myself! I needed to vent so I decided to blog. You don't have to reply to my pity party I'm having for myself but I would appreciate the prayers.
School has been going okay. I have been very optimistic and excited about my busy year ahead of me. Everyone at school is anxious and nervous about all the deadlines, requirements, and debt we all seem to experience! I have tried really hard to be positive and encouraging to those around me. As you would assume, there is ALWAYS drama at school when you put 27 girls together everyday for two years. I bounce back pretty easy even when it all seems overwhelming. I have been studying really hard every night to try and stay on top of things. We have SO MUCH information to learn right now. In return, I feel like I am missing out with my kids and husband. I get home after 5:00 every day and immediately fix supper, clean up the house as much as possible, bathe kids, and put them to bed around 8:00 so I can study. Bryce has been sick the past week and throws up on a whim so I have done at least 3 loads of laundry EVERY night. NO EXAGGERATION! With all my spare time I have I have been scrubbing throw up off of myself, carpet, and car not to mention all the poop that follows the vomiting. I have changed sheets on my bed four times this week. Scott has had football games 3 out of the 4 nights this week so I have been managing things on my own. Each morning he is gone before we get up so I manage mornings by myself too. While Bryce has been sick and I have been cramming for my THREE exams next week, Hallie has been acting up. I don't blame her... its been the only one on one attention she has gotten!! Just when I think things are under control, Bryce throws up all over my car, and my bed AGAIN! I had the whole night planned of studying, finishing laundry, hanging up 2 weeks clean clothes, washing dishes, starting dishwashers, etc. and I just keep getting reality check after another. My shoulders are so tense I think I could pass as having tetanus! I know that God is going to take care of me and I know I am blessed in so many areas of my life but for some reason my brain keeps thinking I can handle everything all at once and my OCD thinks everything has to be done now and perfectly! I am also worried about Bryce. Since he was born, he has thrown up VERY easily and we once had extensive tests run to try and figure out why. Last Thurs. Fri, and Sat. he threw up all weekend. He definitely had a stomach bug but he has also thrown up Tues, Wed, and today from coughing, and being picked up! I think his body is so accustomed to throwing up that it is so easy for him to do so! Then again, I don't know. He hardly eats anything so I have been cramming liquid down his throat as much as possible. My poor baby... Hallie too. I feel SO bad for neglecting her! I totally get why people become alcoholics or drug abusers of sedatives!
I try not to stress but when things happen one right after another, it is hard to stay focused on good. I would like to stay home this weekend and get organized and relax but this is the only weekend for over a month that we have the chance to visit with Lubbockites. So if you see me in Lubbock this weekend, act like you are thrilled to see me even if your not because I am living on the edge of my sanity!
Whew! I feel a little better now. I'll hopefully post a happier blog soon.